Departure imminent

Well, as I roll up to my last 24 hours in Portugal, I feel slightly down about the prospect of going home.

In retrospect, I would say that my year abroad has been far from what I had predicted. I am a new man after it, but I don't know if it's for the better or the worse. I now know my weaknesses, and what I can't live without.

I've been bored senseless in Frost-Trol, giggled with Carmen when I was in the Admin office of Frost-Trol, been lonely in Lisbon, felt like a tit on my nights out (all 4 of them), seen how my friends and family react to me not being there... the list is endless. I've been through severe bouts of depression, which I've kept from both family and friends. It's been worse than I've let on folks... but it's finally coming to an end.

If I were to have the chance of doing this again, I would have studied in Porto University, and done the 1st semester, not the 2nd. I would have worked still in Spain, but who knows where I would have ended up... it might have been Frost-Trol, then again it might have been Barcelona or even somwhere else.

I had fun with the Geordies when they come to visit me, I had a brilliant time with Carmen and Nacho in Gijón, and appreciated it so much when mum and dad or Mark came visiting me.

This has taught me that your future is uncertain. You can plan and predict all you want, but in the end, it's always different to what you expect. And what of my future? Well, I don't know. I think the next few months will be very hard with the lack of money and moving into a new flat. I think I'm gonna be so pleased to see my mates (even if they are less ecstatic!); for me it's a big thing, perhaps not for them, and they'll have to get used to me being mental about them for a few weeks! :-D

I would say my language has definately inproved, and I've grown more confident in both languages. I still don't think the Spanish is as good as it should be, and my Portuguese is good, but not up to my desired standard. I have done my best, and that's all I can do.

One thing I think will piss me off big style is when I get back to University in September. I don't think I will be able to cope with all the people gushing about how much of a fantastic time they had (subliminally saying, my RA is better than yours so fuck you) and ow they just couldn't imagine leaving their host city and they can't wait to get back. Well, in my experience, those people have been living with a bunch of English people getting pissed every day. As my very good friend Crystal put it, "if you haven't spent any time hating the country you're in, you've not had the full RA experience" (or something along those lines!

What of the blogs? Well, I might keep them up, who knows? I will have people to talk to, so bloggin will be a less essential part of my life. I shall have to make sure I e-mail people like Carmen and Nacho lol!

It's been a mental 10½ months, with many ups and downs. It's something I shall take away as being an important part of me. My experience of Ra has been one of failure, but one partly of my own doing, party due to circumstances out of my control.

This is me, over and out, going to go and meet Mark at the airport.

Ben xxx

Japanese tutorial video.

This is well funny and had me tittering away! Only in Japan, the land of the mad! lol

The final curtain

The end of the RA is coming, and it's coming up quite quickly! lol Only a few more days to go now.

Sort of got over my rant from the other day. I think I'm just pissed off 'cos I feel like I'm being left out of the loop on things, it's hard to explain, but I know what I mean to me, in myself, so it's all around goodness.

Shaz, the angel, text me today saying there were some part-time shifts available at RBS where she works. She said she'd pass my details on tomorrow. She's a total star! I know it's RBS callcentre, and Shaz is saying how it gets on her tats sometimes, but hey it's money and a job, so who cares?

In my times of boredom, I've been researching the family history. It's been spectacularly hard to find some information, like my great-granddad Doyle's history is being a pain. As is my grandad Ernest's, so i've ordered some certificates online, which were only a few quid each! I'm making it into something proper and I think I'm going to give it to my dad for Christmas, 'cos he loves family history and things like that, and I can use the certificates for decoration. Mark can help me with that! lol

If you're interested, here's as far as I've got:


I'm gonna watch a DVD, tra!

Ben xxx

Pissed off, fed up, wanna go home, got fuck all money...

The title says it all concisely.

I'm sick of having nothing to do. I'm not going to go out walking all on my own, 'cos I'm sick of being on my own and walking about.

I'm not sleeping properly, I'm getting an acute case of insomnia. I'm sick of having nothing interesting to say, and I'm pissed off that I've got no money.

When I get home, I'll have no money, fuck all to do, no job, I have to move house, the stress of getting home, and the fact that this summer, due to pennilessness, I'll be having no summer holiday, no drinking, no fun and no good times.

When will life stop taking a huge shit on me, and bestow me with good fortune? There's no point staying here longer than I have to, but equally I'm not too thrilled at having sod all to do all summer. Plus I'll have bills and rent to pay, all on £0 a week in earnings. Fooking fantastic.

I can't even look for a temp job 'cos they'll have all been taken up over summer by other students. For fuck's sake...

7½ days and counting!

Yay, very excited now. Mark has joined the 21st century and got a MySpace! Bless him!

Not dome much really. Been looking up the family history, which is quite interesting really!! Turns out my ancestry is very concentrated in Lancashire! In fact, with the surname Wallwork, my Nana Nora's maiden name, it turns out we're from nobility! Wallwork was created when two rich people got married and created a new surname, or sommat. Not looked into it 100% yet!

I need to pay the rent later! Bugger! Although she's cut it in half to €120 for me 'cos I'm only here half a month! Bless Dona Ana!

Ben xxx

Apparently...

You Are

A Robo Pumpkin Face You would make a good pumpkin cyborg.

What's Your Pumpkin Face?

Well, it tickled me! lol

BTW, anyone that can work out who Æþelstān is wins a special prize from Portugal! Yay!

Ben xxx

(Being random, having eaten the two oreos...)

A Tobbogan Slide into Home-10 days and counting

You Are 62% Indie

You're a very indie person, and admit it, you look down a little on people who strive to be normal. You'll indulge in a little mainstream pop culture every now and then. But for you, anything not indie is a guilty pleasure!

How Indie Are You?

Had a good day today! Went to Castelo de São Gorge in Lisbon with Natalie, which was nice. We ambled through the streets of Alfama, and then to Praça do Comércio and then we went to catch the train. We talked about Rui's boyfriend and me leaving Lisbon! T'was a good day out.

Cooked a HUGE trout when I got home, bit there wasn't enough space in the frying pan, as that's the only way of cooking I have. Anyway got it cooked (mostly - there was still a sushi-esque section near the top of the fish, but I cut that off) but could only eat half of it. The faff of the bones is annoying enough, but yeah, I'll finish it tomorrow.

11 days and counting! I'm well excited. Sad at the same time, but I know it'll be ace back home seeing everyone and catching up on the year! Mark's excited too, and I'll have a new home to get used to too. I think I'll miss Denning Place, as it's a nice flat, but one seeing Liz Lane's Luxury Living webpage, I'm compelled (by Jesus Christ Tonight on a Bike) to move away from them. I wish the landlord the best of luck in shifting flats with them - he'll bloody need it! lol

Eating Oreos, so must dash.

Excited Squeals,

Benjy xxx

Æþelstān

Hey everyone,

Well, the Portuguese have been pissing me off with their constant chanting and driving around screaming chants out of cars and beeping their horns! God, it's only football! I agree, it was a tense match, but at the be all and end all of it, the Portuguese couldn't even score a goal against us when we were down to 10 men and we played an extra half an hour, not to mention you won it on penalties. So why they're so proud I don't know... not that much skill involved in taking a penalty is there? Mind you we always lose on penalties - I said this to the housemates before the match.

Anyway, football comment over and done with. Had a few boring days really. I did my last exam on Wednesday, so now it's just a matter of waiting to go home forever. Mark looked at a new flat with furniture in it. It looks like it's got a smaller living room, but the bedrooms are bigger, so perhaps it's better. I dunno...

People have got their results from back home, and I'm pleased to say that they all did well! Well done guys!

12 days to go!! I can't wait!

Tra!